Sometimes I try to remember what it was like…
I know that at some point in my life I spent a whole day without it.
Or did I?
I’ve always hated the question “How are you?” Partly because it drew unwanted attention on me. Partly because I figured most people didn’t really want an answer.
And the ones that did want an answer still expressed the not-so-helpful concern: You don’t feel well very often do you? Any idea what’s wrong?
No. Nope. Not really.
It was never a simple answer. I had headaches. I had pain. I didn’t sleep well. I often attributed a lot of my pain and illnesses to the lack of sleep. You really can’t feel well if you don’t sleep.
But now I know. At least what it’s called. Fibromyalgia. But there’s no real explanation, and no real cure.
Whenever I am asked where the pain is, I have to stop and think. Where?
Everywhere.
It might be easier to just say what doesn’t hurt. Or what hurts less than the other things. Like the tip of my nose. It doesn’t hurt. Least wise, not at the moment. You never know when it might.
I get shooting pains. Needle pricks. Sharp stabbing pains. Red hot irons. Full size ice picks jabbed into my nerves. And aches and cramps and gripping muscle spasms. Unending tormenting thorns.
I hurt. Every day. And in most every way.
And I wish it would stop. I’ve prayed it would pass.
But it doesn’t.
And then I’m reminded of Paul. He asked God to remove the “thorn in his side” three times. But in 2 Corinthians 12:9 God said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
His grace is sufficient.
His grace is sufficient. It is enough. He carries me. Through the pain. In spite of the pain. And I can still serve him. And enjoy my family. And do the things. Just at a different pace and in a different way. He is enough.
Thank you, Lord for your grace, your perfect power. You are sufficient. I am content in my weakness and praise your holy name. I pray that I might be a beacon of hope to others as they face similar struggles. I pray that I can reflect your Christ’s love to those around me despite my own struggles.
Have you ever had a “thorn” that remained despite your pleas? How might your weakness be a testimony to God? How might you serve him in new ways?